The Question of Kids

If you asked me today whether or not I’m ready to have kids, I would answer an affirmative NO. But if you asked me whether or not I will ever be ready to have kids, my answer would be much different.

In other words, I’m pretty sure I’ll have children one day, but I have no idea when or how they will fit into my selfish lifestyle. To be honest, my priorities at the moment are my career, my soon-to-be marriage and my plans for travelling. And I’m not sure I’ll ever get that innate feeling inside telling me that I absolutely have to be a parent.

Unfortunately, I can’t turn to any of my kid-free friends or family for advice, because most of them are in the same predicament. They all have this uncertain notion that they might have kids—you know, eventually.

I blame it on my generation. I think many of us between the ages of 21 – 30 are much more focused on ourselves than ever before. And that’s a great thing! I know for myself, I want to be able to pass on as much wisdom and life experience as possible to my kids, which often comes with age and time.

Last night, when I babysat my niece and nephew, I thought to myself: I’d love to have a family of my own. That being said, I realize that the reason why those two kids, in particular, are so adorable and well-behaved, is because they have parents who have raised them incredibly well.

I can’t say I have as much confidence in my own parenting abilities, yet. I’m still counting on that day when all the answers will just come to me, when I’ll just have to figure it out. Because that’s how parenting works, right?

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The Grass Is Always Greener

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 10 years of employment, it’s that there’s no such thing as a perfect job. I believe in career goals and aspirations, but career perfection? Not so much.

It is this particular realization that has helped me get through some troubled times as of late (aka – a love/hate relationship with my current job). On some days, I’m content going about my usual and somewhat tedious duties, aware that I am lucky to have a job at all, much less one that is in my field. On other days, I feel like walking out of those corporate doors and never looking back. But who hasn’t been there?

The more I talk to my friends, family and mentors, the more I realize that NO ONE is ever 100% satisfied with their jobs. Because while one job may entice you with its high salary, it may also cause you stress and constant pressure to the point of health problems.

And while that contract job may not offer you security, it can potentially push, motivate and steer you in the right direction of where you want to be. Then there’s those painfully low-paying jobs that offer you other incentives such as regular hours, a great work environment and flexible vacation time. There’s always some sort of trade-off, and the more I remind myself of this fact, the happier I am, both at and outside of work.

At the end of the day, a job is just a job. It should not define you and take over your life, but rather enhance it. My problem, for years, was that I defined myself almost entirely upon my career. I thought it was the only way I would ever be viewed as “successful” both in my own eyes and that of others. And ultimately, that sort of thinking led me towards a downward spiral of frustration, disappointment and depression.

It’s hard to appreciate what you have when you’re always looking for something better. And it’s hard to feel good about what you do when you never stop and reflect upon your progress.

Last night, I attended the Capital Awards Gala hosted by the IABC (International Association of Business Communicators)—and while I’m not always a fan of those glitzy PR events, the one last night helped remind me how important it is for professionals (from all industries) to celebrate their achievements, both big and small. For a second, I remembered all of the great projects I’ve worked on, many of which I should be damned proud of!

Sometimes, I forget how far I’ve come with my career, and my post today serves as a little reminder to all of you. As the old, tested and true statement goes: “The grass is always greener…”

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