About a month ago, I made a quick stop to Remedy Café downtown to grab some lunch. The first thing I noticed was how busy it was despite it’s small size, and that it’s clearly a popular place to eat.
The first thing the lady behind me in line noticed was a family of three (husband, wife and baby) seated in the restaurant. In fact, it caught her eye to the extent that she said to me: “Doesn’t that family look just perfect?”
Yes, the husband and wife were attractive. And indeed, their baby was well-behaved. But aside from those two factors, there was nothing particularly remarkable about them.
I responded to the lady’s question with a nod, but inside I was thinking: since when did being married and having a family become the ideal? And how can you possibly know what’s “perfect” just by looking at it?
Don’t get me wrong, I love being married. I can honestly say it has brought me happiness and fulfillment I had never known before. But that’s not to say I didn’t value my time as a single woman—the specific kind of freedom and independence that comes with it. And I adore kids. Every day that passes, my maternal instincts grow stronger.
That being said, I think too many people search for their “ideal” and don’t appreciate the current phase of life they’re in. Sometimes I wonder: does anyone ever look at me through rose-coloured glasses and think, “Hey, that girl’s life is pretty damn awesome.”
Just over the long weekend, I caught a plane (by myself) to New York to visit my friend. One of the best trips I’ve taken in awhile! If I didn’t have a laid-back husband and a kid-free household, that trip simply wouldn’t have been possible. Every other weekend, John and I have full control over our schedules and what we want to do with our time. We can drink a bit too much one night, and sleep in far too late the next morning. Again, the kind of behaviours that wouldn’t be possible if we had kids.
Personally, I’m soaking in all the great moments and luxuries I have with my husband before we take that next big step of starting a family. I also look back fondly on my past (before I was even married) and appreciate how far I’ve come over the years.
But we’re all guilty of it. That is, looking at others and comparing lives. This is especially true when we’re feeling down about our own. To me though, it’s all relative. A great life should be defined by you only, and it’s much easier to do when you’re focused on yourself rather than a superficial view of life you’ve created for someone else.